You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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