I just made out with a guy for $7.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
