Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
