I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
