Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
