found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
