is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
