I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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