direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
