I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
