Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
