I wannas sexs uuuuu
I didn't shave. On purpose
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
