I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
