Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Ambien. No doubt about it.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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