I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
