Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
