i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
