yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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