I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
