Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
