He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
