I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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