i don't like sucking hair
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
