the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
