I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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