We're facebook friends in real life
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
