hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
