ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
