am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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