Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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