Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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