she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
