We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
