you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have already put on my inside pants.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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