I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
