the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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