I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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