all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
