Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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