what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
