Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
