we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Randomize
