we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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