she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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