my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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