We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
