He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
