Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
they're like a gay fantastic four
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
