Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
