I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
