For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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