you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
